Chuck Norris Facts about Global Warming

Industrial logging isn't the cause of deforestation. Chuck Norris needs toothpicks.

There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.

The reason for ocean acidification is found. Chuck Norris was on a cruise and needed a wee.

Chuck Norris's love for humankind heats up the planet by 2.35 degrees annually - a phenomenon also known as the Global Warming.

There is no such thing as tornados. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks.

When the last tree is cut, when the last river is polluted, when the last fish is caught,
they will realise that Chuck Norris can eat money.

If you want a list of Chuck Norris’ enemies, just check the extinct species list.

Flood warning for California. Chuck Norris plans to wipe his kitchen in Texas.

Chuck Norris can ride to work on a stationary bike.

Chuck Norris looks so hot, the ice caps melt every time he walks by.

Where's Chuck Norris?
On the way to the sun to fetch new solar cells.

Chuck norris doesn’t breathe air, he breathes carbon dioxide and makes air!

Chuck Norris knows yet another inconvenient truth.

The solar cells of Chuck Norris do work as well in the dark.

Chuck Norris can store CO2.

Chuck Norris does not breathe to live, he just likes the taste of oxygen.

Global deforestation is a lie.
The cleared forests are just where Chuck Norris went to practice his roundhouse kicks!

Chuck Norris had sex with a pinecone. The result was the great redwood tree.

Chuck Norris does not need gasoline to start his car, he just tells it to “go”

When chuck norris breathes he supplies the world with oxygen.

Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.

A tornado is when Chuck Norris roundhouses someone to china and back.

Chuck Norris' beard converts CO2 to O2.

When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.

The wind turbine of Chuck Norris rotates without wind.

Chuck Norris once broke the land speed record on a bicycle that was missing its chain and the back tire.

Chuck Norris does not need oxygen to survive, oxygen needs chuck norris.

When Chuck Norris rides on a train, he can tell the driver where to go and let him off.

Chuck Norris doesn't need to drive, he tells the universe to get him where ever the hell he wants to go and it gets him there.

The sun gets its energy from Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris used to date Hurricane Katrina.

That's no wind turbine. It's Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris takes jogs on the Autobahn

Climate Change takes place when Chuck Norris Travels.

Chuck Norris doesn't need to drive a car, his destination comes to him.

The reason why the sun is so hot is because Chuck Norris has a house on it and he left the heater on.

Electricity comes in 3 voltages: 110, 220, and Chuck Norris.

Global Warming was never a problem, until Chuck Norris farted.

Chuck Norris`s car is powered by his aura.

Only Chuck Norris can prevent forest fires.

Chuck Norris is so cool he made Global Warming freeze.

Chuck Norris doesn't need gasoline. He is the reason why motors run.

Chuck Norris can stop the Oil Spill.

Chuck Norris invented Al Gore.

Chuck Norris hears thunder before he sees lightning.

BP could solve all its problems by just hiring Chuck Norris to swim around in the Gulf of Mexico. The oil would be so frightened of his roundhouse kicks, it would suck itself back into the earth and hide.

Do you know more green jokes or global warming jokes?
We are happy about each mail to klimawitze@die-klimaschutz-baustelle.de.